texts saved in my phone: Inbox edition

What are you doing tomorrow besides sleeping all day and re-acclimating yourself to the sweet air of freedom

Are you still watching mtv?*

Oh yeah thats my mom. the mustache lady is my mother.

Lets talk about chicks man.

Now to be fair your pussy put manatees on the endangere species list.

Jenny. Wanna see something incredible?

Well we have drunk and i think i can taste rage

Gays are an important demographic these days.

Lol. Youre prob at the part where i fell asleep. Is that matt damon? Gah!
(about The Departed and texter's mother being unable to discern between DiCaprio and Damon)

Im in your hood now bitch.

I dont remember this dolphin and it pisses me off!

Your boy's a man

My ipod shuffle knows whats up today.

SID WINS
(about Sidney Crosby's annihilation of the NHL Awards)

Bruce vilanch and pop singer tiffany are here!

You ready for that shit tonight?

Hahaha what. Ever.

No shes married to a cat. its fantastic.

Im going to mexico today!

Also...the most magnifizant chicken livers!

Lol. He said windows were wooshed and i was like, oh hes one of those.

R u watching the office?**

I wish our friends had our music taste. it would make life more fun.


*This was sent on Friday, May 18. I saw Ted Leo performing on MTV on what later turned out to be the Human Giant 24 hour "takedown" and alerted the sender, my soulmate in music and pop culture taste and ridicule (taste in this case, hopefully obviously). We couldn't look away from this hilarious show (although I did have a fucking million things to do that day) and this text represents the cold realization that we had found the sketch comedy show that basically represented our entire lives. Human Giant kicks ass.

**I get this every single Thursday around 8:05 from a coworker, and I mean EVERY Thursday.