hey mike huckabee: lick a dick buddy!

An open letter to Mike Huckabee!

Yo!

I'm 19 years old! I'm pro-choice! I love gays and transfolks! I realize that sexuality cannot be limited to 'gay' or 'straight'! I love people of colour and I want my Caucasian people in power to realize the oppression and cut it the fuck out! I realize that you and your kind treat me, a woman, as a second-class citizen! I know that my right to choose overrides, uh, everything! I want socialized medicine damnit! I want every single person in this country insured on a healthcare program and while I'm at it what IS the deal with HOME INSURANCE?!?? I don't believe in your white Jesus or your white God but I identify as agnostic and I am leaving myself open to perhaps converting to a faith if it doesn't fuck with my beliefs!

And I am the new majority, sucka! You, sir, can hide behind your faith and call abortion a modern Holocaust - an insult to my Jewish friends and every single person executed during that massacre who is sick and fucking tired of the Holocaust being thrown out there at every opportunity by the dirty politicians of a nation who birthed IBM who in turn tattooed their arms as if they were animals! - and blame it for illegal immigration (or, uh, whatever the fuck you were trying to say, my 'fucking delusional crazy shit' filter is malfunctioning), but you are the real problem. Has anyone ever said that to you before? You and the other white male bigots who keep on coming up and taking the reigns because you're already in power, and you make it so goddamn hard for minorities to stand alongside you because you've polluted them for years and years and fooled them and cut them at the knees and spread lies to your white sisters and brothers about them and finally you keep pumping life into this "American dream". We're all aware that the true American dream is only achieved by a few choice celebrities (who are only either beautiful or gorgeous) and a few people who either buy into the system or do serious evil. You're a fan of evil, I know. You don't, but I do!

But as long as you live your comfy-ass life, you don't give a shit. Well, buddy, number one, you won't ever be President. You're a dumbass. Number two, you better watch your ass when the liberal majority is in power, bub. I don't know about everyone else, but I am not a friendly girl, and you do not fuck with my right to power over my own damn body.