i disagree like nobody's business

My Gateway laptop has hit the shits and the Geek Squad hasn't touched it since I "checked it in" a week ago - it was supposed to be fixed either this week or next - so I'm in a fucking computer lab doing two essay assignments, which means I'm reading blogs. I'm reading an interview with Louise Sloan, who recently wrote a book entitled "Knock Yourself Up" (I'm not a fan of that phrase, btw) about choosing to become a single mother. I'm in love with single mothers. I want them to have all the support in the world, more than they know what to do with. I want to send them money and care packages. But Sloan is pretty shady when it comes to chosen single motherhood and women who become single mothers as a result of rape, incest, no access to abortion, or who don't want an abortion. She gleefully reports that even women in socially conservative communities were getting buttloads of love and support! Yeeeeeehaw! Of course they do. Of. Course. They. Do. Now if you're a black young lady with a baby (I can only assume you'd be pegged as having had an unwanted pregnancy even if you had become a single mother by choice, whether you're an intellectual like this woman probably is or you booted the father out for whatever reason, which I'm a supporter of; just because the damn man's around doesn't mean he'd make a good father) you get lambasted.


Also, there's this: "I think that it's really important to make sure that your child feels that the way that she or he came into this world was a positive and happy thing. And so you need to have that attitude yourself."


I went to a charter high school in downtown Pittsburgh with what must have been either a perfect 50% split between people of colour and us crackers or a black majority. Of my classmates, five that I remember had babies (and all of whom dropped out, very unfortunately) and I knew of two abortions (there were two white ladies included here, just to note). I think only one of them had a "rape baby," as one white bitch so crudely put it to me. I had only talked to the woman who had the baby a few times in school but it was so small that you knew the general temperament of everyone, and she was distant but nice, and I can see her being seriously ambivalent about her situation. Now, even if she had been extremely mean and hostile and whatever the fuck it wouldn't have mattered, the same goes for every woman with an unexpected or unwanted pregnancy.

I'm speaking from the school of thought that a struggle never hurt anybody. Life ain't worth shit if it ain't been lived, and I'm not gonna support the programming into ourselves of modes of feeling (baby = happy, pregnant = happy, married = happy). I'm saying let these women be ambivalent about such a fucking drastic life change, and let that genuineness shine through. I'm not saying tell your children what a mistake they were and how much you hate them (though this goes on and I do not encourage it, it's upsetting). I'm saying it ain't a big deal if your kid's asking you this shit, they happen to have been the product of a rape - or they were simply unexpected or unwanted - I wouldn't tell them a lie. I wouldn't tell them something that wasn't appropriate for their age, but I wouldn't coat a lie with the same sugary sweet sticky shit that's made our country fat, lazy and dumb, and the sugary sweet sticky shit in question is the American dream and the illusion of the perfect, ideal, conventional male-female-child(ren) family. Struggle is a part of life. And before I lost this entry the first time I had a whole thing on how much I wish the American Caucasians for whom life has not been a daily struggle could comprehend the fullness of what being born into struggle means for a person, especially a person of colour in a volatile white country like this one. I'm not talking about "life sucks they move on." I'm not dishing out pity to folks born into poverty who struggle daily, because I know they adjust accordingly and they find the good shit in life (and I really fucking hope they do). I'm talking about we wouldn't know what to do if we could comprehend the fullness of everything. Whatever.

I just lost this original post. I was talking about Bill Cosby, whose Oprah episode I caught the last half hour of last week, and how I think the spite he displays for black Americans is very lovely and helpful. And that's sarcasm. I only have to read a few lines into his big fat NAACP speech to know we're not on the same page. He's husband-wife, no child born out of wedlock, pull-your-pants-up-start-speaking-English. And that's not only mature, it's understanding and comprehensive. And THAT is sarcasm!

EXCERPT Y'ALL
"I'm talking about these people who cry when their son is standing there in an orange suit. Where were you when he was two? (clapping) Where were you when he was twelve? (clapping) Where were you when he was eighteen, and how come you don't know he had a pistol? (clapping) And where is his father, and why don't you know where he is?"

Nice clapping add-ins, Cosby's people! Whoo! Yeah! All I can visualize is a crowd of white men clapping like hell, 'cause most of his speech is harping on black Americans to acculturate completely and adhere to the white standard of living. The left-wing white, to boot, not my favourite brand of white folk.

It's nice to know that Cosby's life is so simple. It's nice that he's finally come out of the woodwork to explain to black women everywhere (and my white ass) that if they only put aside all the other shit that was going on in their life - the extent of which I can't even give an example of because I don't know what it's like to be black in this country, where white is the standard and where oppression is still more rampant than anyone's willing to admit to - and fight against the odds, American dream style, and raise their baby to be a good heterosexual man who takes his kids to McDonald's and speaks in perfectly white English! Oh you're so right, you big rich man. I also admire your Rick Santorum-esque idea of family and your further marginalization of an already extremely unseen group, black gays and lesbians. And gays and lesbians of colour. Oooh, yes, you're a good guy. Pud-ding! Ahaha! Sike.

I especially love when he states, "God is tired of you." All I know is this: I am agnostic, so I haven't figured my God out all the way yet, but my God would never be "tired" of anybody. If Bill Cosby's God is as dumb as he is, I hope we do indeed have individual Gods. Although my God wouldn't have let anyone suffer a day in their life, and we wouldn't be at the place we are today. But life, as I so lamely put it before, could never be that simple, so I guess my God doesn't exist. I think I just answered a bigass question.

I can't read any more of this bile, so here it is: http://www.eightcitiesmap.com/transcript_bc.htm Good fucking night, and peace the fuck out! Be good to each other goddamnit.