on boobs

From Jezebel, a blonde girl from Laguna Beach or The Hills (I do not watch either) got boob and nose jobs because boys "tormented" her when she was younger for being flat and having a huge nose. I'm flat and I have a long, skinny nose. I've heard many comments about my tiny breasts - I was lucky, though, I didn't go to a bigass high school where I was ever "rated" as I walked down the fucking hallway - and none about my nose, but thankfully I know not to let the boys win. On the cover it says she talks about "the pain of hating her body". She hated her body because these boys didn't like it. That's great! There's nothing about this bitch that doesn't scream "I'm willing to change fucking dumbass things about myself to fit the male ideal". So, yeah, that's pretty cool. It reminds me of junior high when I was an ugly duckling and girls would assure me that, as per the trend at the time, I would one day be on Jenny Jones showing off my awesome new look.

Man! I take a lot of shit for having small titties too, okay, and when I was a younger teen I dreamed of a boob job. I am not and never will consider breast implants again, unless I turn into a fucking asshole and reverse my views on everything.


Hey, wow, yeah! I love WTAE! I love local news, mmm, yummy! The last two consecutive news stories were, as follows, what the fuck is going on on Dancing With the Stars and WHAT big-screen HD TV to buy this holiday season! Hey, everybody!! Suck my dick! As if there's some shortage of news. We have to come up with shit that isn't news AT ALL. Howevvies, the nerd in me is excited for the new dinosaur exhibit at the Carnegs.


Also, this NY Times article about a well-off white woman weighing the pros and cons of, and eventually going through with, a mastectomy. I'll get this out of the way first: This article, like so much of the NY Times (I don't know why I bother reading it, I always end up going "GOD!" like six times), portrays a woman whose healthcare abilities are seemingly endless. So there's that.


If I knew there was a huge probability for my developing breast cancer, and that I carried a defective gene that upped my chances, and a mastectomy would decrease my chances of developing the cancer by 90%, I would, no doubt about it, get the mastect. It's taken my boobs and I a while, but we are at long last on the same page. I love my bod and I'd encourage all women, men, transgenders and the like to feel safe and secure in their natural bodies. If I had my way, that's the way shit would be. Then again, I'm completely normal aside from the A breasts and the flat ass. God must hate me!!!


It's typical to spin it on the reverse, but I'd rather have the smaller breasts. My mother had a reduction for health reasons - back pain and, whatever else - and I know girls with tiny bodies and huge breasts. They're INSANELY ogled, crudely commented on and everything low-cut shows loads of cleavage no matter what. I'm not saying they should be ashamed - not at fucking all! Own that shit! I'm saying I'd rather stick with my itty bitty titties. I mean these things are fucking adorable.


That said, I completely understand the hesitation to get a seemingly non-essential mastectomy. I would be extremely fucking upset to part with my breasts. I wouldn't reconstruct them, though. I have an "all natural" viewpoint to everything, and I'd accept it. Err - I can see myself accepting it. Okay, you "never know" until you're in it, but it would be extremely uncharacteristic of me to give in in that way. Would I be able to find a man? Maybe, maybe not. If this man is unable to love me because I don't have tits to offer him he's not worth my fucking time. I, and the rest of humankind, should not be forced to settle for less just to have a partner, or just to have children, or just to whatever. And I don't mean compromise - compromising and "settling for" are two different things.


The woman in this article had the right idea; she'd rather live than risk developing cancer that she was almost certain to get just to keep her natural breasts. A woman's - a person's - health is the priority above all other things. It's a damn shame how long we pause before deciding on a mastectomy (cutting this lady's chances of developing breast cancer by NINETY! PERCENT!) because most of our value is in our breasts, we attract mates through our breasts. Well y'all, I doubt my sultry A cups will ever be the deciding factor in whether some assmunch wants to be with me or not - um, I sure would hope that they wouldn't be - so that's not really something that affects me. I do put the girls on display when I want to impress but they can only go so far, good Lord.


Anyway, I don't know. It's hard. For me, my health, the preservation of my life, is much more important than my breasts, whatever shape and size they may be. It would be a fucking heartbreaker to part with them - they're so connected to my femininity and my nipples especially, as I can only assume is pretty much a norm, are a huge part of my sexual experiences - but shit, do what the fuck you have to do. The best choices are hardly the easiest to go through with, but I am one of those dumbass women who puts my life above that of a fertilized egg or a foetus.

I had more to this, but I lost my train of thought.


What I love: Bridget Moynahan's baby gets her last name, not Tom Brady's. Yeeeeah!